Margarita Gurgutsova has been writing for the past 9 years, expanding from purely creative writing, to poetry, song-writing, journalism and professional copywriting. Margo actively performed in Malaysian poetry scenes since 2017 and later moved to Canberra in 2018 to start university. Now that the degree is done and dusted, Margo works as a tutor for Criminology at the ANU, and works part-time as a manager at the Canberra Theatre Centre. Margo currently engages in slow living.
This poem was originally written in Malay, and is provided in its original form, as well as with an English translation (kindly provided by Margo), below.
#1
Sorry I’m not pretty easy
There’s a lot im not sure about
left and right, im poor in belongings, words
whichever house I live in
friends’ or parents’
whichever country I stay in
or culture I explore
everything is temporary
sorry I cant take it easy
I feel icky trying to be good company
I don’t have patience
Time passes like a celebration
It is all just a party
To me
But sorry I am not sure
Sorry the colour of my clouds is wrong
I don’t have rules but
When my head is in the clouds
The rules apply only to me
It’s just, I feel empty
Even though my heart still beats
Even though it’s red
Still hurts and bleeds
Im sorry I don’t have enough words
To really reach into anyone’s heart
#1
sorry i tak pretty
easy
banyak bende i tak pasti
kanan kiri aku miskin harta, kata
duduk rumah mana mana
rumah kawan ke mak bapak
biasa di negara
ke explore karya
semua sementara saja
sorry i tak senang
hati i feel icky cuba jadi good company
tak cukup kesabaran
time lalu macam perayaanit is all just a party
to me
but sorry i tak pasti
sorry warna awan aku salah
aku tau ada peraturan tetapi
bila my head is in the clouds
the rules apply to me sahaja cuma
rasa
kosong
walaupun hati masih degap degup
walaupun masih merah
masih luka dan berdarah
im sorry i tak cukup kata
tak sampai hati mana mana
pun
© Margarita Gurgutsova, 2023
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