#3

Margarita Gurgutsova has been writing for the past 9 years, expanding from purely creative writing, to poetry, song-writing, journalism and professional copywriting. Margo actively performed in Malaysian poetry scenes since 2017 and later moved to Canberra in 2018 to start university. Now that the degree is done and dusted, Margo works as a tutor for Criminology at the ANU, and works part-time as a manager at the Canberra Theatre Centre. Margo currently engages in slow living.

This poem was written in both Malay and English, and is provided in its original form, as well as with an English translation (kindly provided by Margo), below.

#3

takde burung tapi ada bunyi burung
circulating somewhere around the flowers that bloomed
in the corner of the room where the dust had settled
eleventeen layers like a kuih lapis platter
im bouncing on a feeling i can’t quite put my feet on
and my phone’s ringing with a mariah carey ringtone
i nak selesa dalam semesta tapi semesta tak tentu
i’ve got questions about everything
from my head sampai my shoes
and im so confused

i’m going down a swirly slide
exposed in the rain with no shelter to hide in
there is no end to this thing
we’re all just having fun
something inside me is trying to be a nun
aku tak relek otak selalu kecoh
i keep trying to find something i don’t think i lost
someone is speaking all the fucking time
i’m trying to catch and sample some rhymes
the wind blows, we see grass wobble
we write dumb shit in our secret notebooks
i try to pick apart my brain in my kitchen
but it seems some utensils are still missing

yes and no
interpret it as the reader may
yes and no
a reply as clear as day
controversial like hujan panas
or an abomination of campuran cicak dengan lipas
i will sit in my chair with ciggie in hand
and watch this play out in a dramatic end

#3

There are no birds but I hear them sing
circulating somewhere around the flowers that bloomed
in the corner of the room where the dust had settled
eleventeen layers like a kuih lapis platter
im bouncing on a feeling i can’t quite put my feet on
and my phone’s ringing with a mariah carey ringtone
I want to be comfortable in the universe but it’s an uncertain space
i’ve got questions about everything
from my head until my shoes
and im so confused

i’m going down a swirly slide
exposed in the rain with no shelter to hide in
there is no end to this thing
we’re all just having fun
something inside me is trying to be a nun
im never relaxed my brain is always unhinged
i keep trying to find something i don’t think i lost
someone is speaking all the fucking time
i’m trying to catch and sample some rhymes
the wind blows, we see grass wobble
we write dumb shit in our secret notebooks
i try to pick apart my brain in my kitchen
but it seems some utensils are still missing

yes and no
interpret it as the reader may
yes and no
a reply as clear as day
controversial like hot rain
or an abomination mix of a cockroach and a lizard
i will sit in my chair with ciggie in hand
and watch this play out in a dramatic end

© Margarita Gurgutsova, 2023