Akka Ballenger Constantin is a dreamer with a camera and a pen. When she was 6, her father gave her her first 35mm camera. It was love at first sight.
“The Fence Sitter” first appeared (in a modified format) on Akka’s blog, https://planetakka.blogspot.com.au.
I have always seen a fence sitter as someone who is not necessarily, (or not always) alone, but someone who is an observer. Someone who doesn’t fit within all these boxes and labels designed so easily by societal standards; someone who tries to figure out answers by observing and drawing their own conclusions. Hence the title.
“The Fence Sitter” is about living at the confluence of two very different cultures, trying to find the middle line in adapting to a new lifestyle while keeping one’s cultural identity as much as possible. Sometimes things don’t make sense; sometimes the two cultural appurtenances contradict each other and it is easy to be drawn back to the fence line, trying to make sense of who you truly are.
The Fence Sitter
How did I end up standing in the night
On this imaginary line between two worlds?
I’m streaming music from my heart
Hoping the notes will make up for the foreign words.
I’m anchored still in yesteryears no longer owned
And yet I crave todays I don’t quite understand.
Sometimes it feels my timing has been loaned,
And making sense or balance feels like shifting sand.
I am the 3 am dreamer; I’ll guard your sleep
And be the keeper of your worries
When others are shallow, I’ll be deep.
I’ll be the writer to your stories.
I’ll be the listener when everybody talks,
The migraine chaser on those quiet walks
I am the cello to your violin
I am the goer – between,
The midnight dancer;
I am your answer.
© Akka Ballenger Constantin, 2017